I recently rediscovered the Internet Oracle, a most wonderful source of wisdom (assuming the Oracle does not ZOT! you for asking a dumb question). Since I survived my first year as a youth group sponsor at my church, I decided to ask the Oracle how I should continue on for next year. Here is my question an dthe Oracle's reply:

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:

> Oh wise Oracle, greatest of that delphic clan, I beg of the to answer 
> my question.
> 
> This past year I became one of the adult sponsors for the  youth group 
> at my church. Now that I have gotten the teenagers to like me, what 
> would the best way to twist their little minds to the Dark Side without 
> their parents realizing what is going on? (P.S. This needs to be done 
> on the cheap since it's a small church and we don't have the biggest 
> budget for youth activities.)
> 
> I await with supplication your gnostic revelations on my teen-control 
> strategy.
> --
> Cory C. Albrecht
> http://cory.doesntexist.com/
> Advertising (n): the science of arresting the human intelligence for 
> long enough to get money from it.
>  -- Stephen Leacock.
> 
> 
> 

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} 
} In the future, if you're going to ask advice for how to corrupt young
} minds, I recommend you don't sign your name on the bottom... Mr.
} Leacock.
} 
} I'd say America's already got their bases covered -- teachers can
} already "screen" children for possible mental problems with the help
} of an Texan ex-governor, even diagnose their supposed conditions; it
} gets them started on drugs right away.  Any goody-two-shoes you can report
} as a "possible Columbine risk" to the Pinkerton Agency or Department
} of Homeland Security.
} 
} But I understand you want to expand your base of operations to the
} world, and there is also something /genuinely/ American about a
} do-it-yourself and elbow-grease attitude.  Bravo for not resorting to
} the government to twist young minds.
} 
} Perhaps the most famous corrupter of young student's minds was Socrates,
} whose doctrine of doubt and critical thinking roused a whole city into
} a lynch mob -- well, a hemlock mob, he was an old man after all -- and
} distorted young men's minds for generations if not centuries after him.
} 
} Another example of how critical thinking can twist one's spirit is in
} the Jesuit Order: it's said that the regimen of analytical thinking that
} Jesuit priests have to go learn will either render their faith
} invulnerable, or destroy their faith utterly.  
} 
} I suggest you follow the example of history and teach these children to
} think for themselves, to scrutinize authority, and to pause for thought
} before obeying people who claim to be their betters.
} 
} You owe the Oracle some Jonestown soda-pop, or Davidian BBQ sauce.
}